A sort-of Jekyll and Hyde effect is ripping through me right now. In its own mid-quarter life crisis way, of course. One half of me is so nomadic, where I don’t want to be chained down to one lifestyle, and I want to simply float around the world taking whatever job I fancy.
It’s the side of me that knows beautiful things can only be felt or seen- the sunrise, the taste of coffee, laughing with friends. That Jekyll of me cringes when people gush about their 5 year plans, discuss mortgages and emphasise the importance of a career.
Yet the other half of me is quite ordinary and quite like everyone else. I enjoy my office job; it’s in walking distance from my house, I get on with my colleagues, I enjoy my tasks and duties, and it pays me a wage I’m happy with. Thanks to my 9-5, I’ve been able to save some money and book European holidays; Milan and Turin in October, Geneva in December, and Amsterdam in January. I also like the idea of moving to London and working in the publishing industry, so I could have my own work published and thrive in a career of writing.
I know that’s the goal of so many, but I know that I’m definitely capable of it. It would be nice to own things that I wouldn’t have to think about selling to afford my next plane ticket, or store away as I set off on my next escape.
Yet sometimes I think of dropping everything and returning to China; it’s always such a romantic idea, isn’t it? At the age of 23 I have already done that, and so now I’m starting to think that rather than running away and thinking in the Now, I could join the crowd I am so dubious of, but with my own twist. Work now, play a bit later, but that way, I can play harder.
I still look at my first photos I took in China, and can’t believe how amazing that experience was. I enjoyed my year in Prague but the flame of China still hasn’t distinguished, so I know I need to go back.
I’m still learning that those moments reflected who I was then, and not to miss it, because the way that first travel experience changed and shaped me and my goals is all the evidence I should need that it did what it needed to do. When I travel again, I know that I’ll have even more of a blast than I did the first time!